Friday, February 27, 2009

29th dec 1988, the house was filled with loadsof joy.. I guess i saw tears roll down my mum's cheek when she had me in her hand. And dad carrying me around just like every proud father does. I see that joy in parents' eyes even to this day. But now when i see that i feel very insecure .....

Yesterday mum was telling me how wonderful kalpa's( my friend as well as my neighbour)wedding was. She was explaining to me about the wedding, the people around, about the groom's family, then she says " oh god!! it was an amazing wedding thashi", all this was great to hear till she came to the part where the bride had to part from her parents house. As she was explaining it to me, tears started rolling down my cheeks, thinking next time when i go home kalpa wont be there, secondly with the fear that in few years time i'll be parting away from my family. well that is damn scary...

As days pass by my insecurity grows. Thoughts like will i be able to adjust to the new family and the new person, will i be comfortable with him, is it possible for me to love a stranger because i dont know to fall in love i just grew in love with the person who fell in love with me ... n many more things like will that person accept me the way i'm, my crazyness, will i find the same love and affection of mum and dad, well!!! you never know....